I have a lot of people who come to me when they are dissatisfied with their partner or Friend and there is a pattern that showed up in most of them that told me that the only way they could get out of the situation was to go inward first. I go back to my square peg round hole theory, where in truth there is nothing that wrong with the other person, they just don't fit us. But sadly many people try to force the square peg into the round hole until they get to a point where all they can see is the flaws and none of the good stuff that drew them to the other in the first place.
When our focus is on what we want or where we want to be and who with, we forget to stop and appreciate what and who we have and where we are already at.
One of my daughters nicknames is Can't wait Kate, we blame her Aries ascendants influence on her sudden burst of impatience, where she stops herself from truly enjoying what she already has while she frets over how slow all the other good stuff she wants is taking its damn time getting to her. For years I'd get caught up in trying to ground her but it took my mate jack telling me I was going about it the wrong way to make any headway.
Jack explained my attempts to ground her in reality created resistance in her and the next time she declared she wanted a puppy or some other mad idea, I should just go with it and trust that without resistance she'd forget that idea and come up with another one. It worked like magic, but the truth is Kate never changed, my way at looking at her little ways was what changed.
Often when we are dissatisfied with others its a masking of our own dissatisfaction or inability to enjoy what we have without noticing and weighing it against what we ultimately want.
Jackie's advice got me thinking and I tried acceptance with others and their mad ways. Its not a trick that works with everyone, but its one that helps you get back to the warm fuzzy feeling with those you love and want in your life.
None of us are perfect and nobody has a perfect life, so fretting over the imperfections seems madness to me.
But everything I have learnt so far about the chakras tells me that when we start noticing things about our loved ones or friends that were always there but all of a sudden bug the sh1t out of us, something in us has changed and instead of looking out and just being dissatisfied with them we need to take a look in and see what is going on with us.
Often its a build up of stuck energy, which as its dissatisfaction, the root has to be open, because an open root is never satisfied with what it has. If we have started to try to guilt others into taking responsibility for our dissatisfaction the sacral will be blocked. If we have an idea in our head how we want things to be and they are clearly not like that the solar plexus is open.
All the others chakras could also be playing a part in the feeling of dissatisfaction especially the throat chakra but the lower three chakras are clearly not happy and no matter what your partner or friend does it will never be enough and will never create the satisfaction you seek. That can only be fixed internally by you, no external effort from others will make you feel better. There may be brief moment of satisfaction, but really its triumph over another and the satisfaction will not last. I call it triumph because those chakras set at those imbalances battles with the will of others for them to be good so that we can be happy, but while their focus is on getting satisfaction they often fail to see that all they are doing is pushing others away thus shooting themselves in the foot in the long run.The universe has a wicked sense of humour and I have often seen the dissatisfied fall in love with the dissatisfied and its an opportunity for both to learn what it is like to continually be made feel as if you dissatisfy someone who claims to love you. Bottom line is it sucks and does not bring out the best in you.
Personally I have had a stint at both dissatisfied and the dissatisfying and neither is a happy place to be. When we expect others to make us happy we will end up making them unhappy. The happiness and satisfaction we seek is our responsibility and can only be found within us. Our partners and friends should be the cherry on the top of our already satisfied selves.
And a good way to do that is to notice your part the instant you think someone else is dissatisfying. They may be doing the same thing they always did, still be the person they were when you met them and thought they were smashing its just now its not good enough. Think about that for a second, how do we feel when we are told we are not good enough, pretty cruddy should be the answer. And it is cruddy but rarely do we think about it when we become dissatisfied and we decide to dump it on others.