I was an indiscriminate parenter before I got into chakras and back then I was sure I was fine, it was everyone else who had the problem. I can laugh about it now but back then I was deadly serious.
As a single parent working in a mans world I developed a bit of an attitude about others abilities. I juggled work and home along with the emotional needs of friends, neighbours and family. During my brief marriage, my ex husbands friends used to joke that he'd married super woman cos I was able to change the oil in the car and repair the rust and holes. Every problem he came up with I was able to solve and swiftly. His fan-belt went just as he was about to leave for work and I got the car going using an old pair of tights LOL then there was the time someone took a baseball bat to the window of the car. He worked nights and when he woke up that day to go to work the window was mended.
What ever was needed I managed to source and in record time.
Growing up, Kate had no real clue of our hardship because I was a wiz at finding a bargain just at the right time, so much so she felt sure that if her or her friends wanted something I (fairy godmother) would find it. I'd hear her tell her friend "Mum will find you one!" and most of the time I did.
My intention was always good but looking back I was too helpful in ways and hindered others as much as I helped them. You see unwittingly I had turned into my parents. I had forgotten what it was like to be in the shadow of someone who was that capable, who rode to the rescue and pulled rabbits out of a hat on a daily basis.
In my Blocked solar plexus days I stopped trying, allowed others to take over, believing I would never be able to do it as well as them. But then I found two things that I was good at and went overboard.
Before Kate was born, those who knew me were a tad worried, I seemed incapable of looking after myself let alone take care of the needs of a child. But the second she popped out a light came on within me and it never went out. Her needs were my priority and I worked hard to ensure she was happy, healthy and well taken care of. When your in parent overdrive with your kids its easy to let in bleed into your other relationships. Ask any of my ex's and they'll confirm that I parented them more often than not. I was not aware I was doing it at the time. I had little time for faffers who were too slow or indecisive but was clueless that my energy was playing a part in their faffing.
As I started to learn about the chakras I had a few head shrinking moments when I looked back over my past indiscriminate parenter antics. Once I started experimenting with the chakras and was able to see a persons behaviour and match that with what I seen in the chakras I was mortified to see my own energy acted out in others. Once you know the energy of each chakra its not difficult to spot the energy in the words people use, the things they do , their reaction and when they say or do noting.
An open solar plexus give themselves away by their lack of straight talk. Instead of saying they don't want you to do something the way your doing it, they seem to prefer to cast doubt over your abilities or that your way may not the best way to do it. Their obvious lack of confidence in others can bring out the blocked solar plexus response, so the others stop trying and the open can just take over.
People are rarely just open or just blocked, their external influences are usually the trigger to an internal swing. I have friends and family who have a habit of having an open solar plexus and its my responsibility to not react to their energy and remain in the eye of their energy storm. Sometimes I can slam shut and sometimes I can swing open and just butt heads with them. Neither reaction is ideal, but the first step in notice my own chakra state instead of remaining focused on their imbalance. I also know a few with a typical blocked solar plexus attitude and have to remember to just sit on my hands rather than dive in and take over.
What I have learnt while watching chakras is either imbalance gets an opportunity to feel what its like in the other extreme. As a youngster I was over shadowed by open solar plexus energy, then in my mid 20's I swung the other way and took charge of everything and everyone in my world. My memory was short and I ended up acting just like those who over shadowed me in my early years. During those years I also drew others to me who matched my energy, I could clearly see their control issues but still failed to see my own.
In my late 30's my health took a nose dive and I had to learn to rely on others for my basic care. This killed me and it was a bitter pill to swallow, my solar plexus kicked up a stink and I resisted my new situation in the beginning. It was around that time that I began to understand the chakras but it was like peeling an onion, layer after layer revealed an even deeper understanding. My solar plexus slammed shut and I joined the defeatist club. Strangely kate who was a defeatist swung the other way and became a bit of a control freak LOL we were yet to find a middle ground.
The turning point came when I was teaching my niece how to make cheese sauce, I had such strong views about others who showed no faith in those they were instructing but failed to see that trait in myself. That day I had a chance to instill confidence in my niece, the urge to just dive in and take over when she began to flap was overwhelming but a calmer side of me spoke up and said "its ok mate, if we mess up we have the ingredients to start again. I focused sending her posetive supportive energy and calmly talked her through the process. Within moments she was calm again and had saved the sauce.
What I learnt that day was a lesson that the universe had been trying to teach me for nearly 40 years. For as long as I was not mindful of my own energy I had no business expecting others to be mindful of theirs. My niece is normally a confident capable girl and it was only lack of practise that was undermining her. My role was to support her while she practised.
In my open solar plexus days I had a saying that ended any dispute in the house LOL "All ways are the queens ways!". As I took the Lions share of the responsibility for the smooth running of our home, lives and experiences I felt sure that my decisions were always the best. My poor health put paid to that idea when Kate was the one who took that role because I could no longer do it.
I hated being kept out of the decision loop so when my health improved we sat down and decided our home needed to be more democratic. Back then I had a throne (my chair) which was at the head of the table so the message was loud an clear to all who visited. I could always tell who wanted to challenge my rule when they made a B-line for the throne LOL but that's a whole other story.
The Throne is still here but the energy behind having it is different. Now its for comfort and its position is for ease in opening the door for Darcy and Millie, but a round table with matching chairs is on my wish list.
Changing the rule in our home has made things much better for both Kate and I, for me the support is invaluable and when I asked Kate what difference it has made for her she said "It feels good to be a part of the decision making and has given me a taste for wanting my own home and the practise and understanding to realistically know what that entails".
Kate works as hard to keep our home nice and feels as responsible for its maintenance and the bills as I do. This is a far cry from my Queenie days LOL where I bore all the responsibility and felt unsupported by the faffers.
Letting go was the best decision I could make to ensure that all got to shine in their own way and in their own time.