A clique is an exclusive group of people who share common interests, views, purposes, patterns of behaviour, or ethnicity A clique as a reference group can be either normative or comparative. Membership in a clique is typically exclusive, and qualifications for membership may be social or essential to the nature of the clique.
But cliques can at times bring out the worst in people rather than the best.
Today I was reminded of a situation that unfolded one night at youth club. I volunteered once a week along with a friend and her daughter. This particular night the youth leader was not around so my friend and I were left in charge. Everything was running smoothly until a group of four lads walked in. Instantly the atmosphere changed and some of the quieter members physically put their heads down and tried to ignore the taunts and attitude these four guys were showing. My friends reaction to them just fulled the fire and stressed her out, these boys enjoyed stirring things up.
One of the girls stood up to the boys when they homed in on her and pointed at me and told them " You best be careful cos shes a witch and can read you!" I laughed at that description and in an instant the boy I will call the "mouth piece" of the clique squared up to me and challenged me to read him LOL
My friend laughed too cos she knew all to well that Id not shy away from the challenge. She gave me the nod to crack on so I did. I pointed out that in cliques like theirs there were three main character's. The leader, the appeasers and the mouth piece. I explained who did what in the clique and who would always get in trouble and who's nose would always stay clean. All throughout the scene one boy stayed quiet but I had already spotted that he seen himself as the leader. The two appeasers just laughed and egged on the mouth piece, who would be the fall guy every time should their antics get them in trouble. When I pointed out the last bit the mouth piece was struck dumb for a second but you could see the cog's turning, in a short while he turned to the leader with clarity on his face and said " she's right, you never seem to get in any trouble, its always me and sometimes them. LOL If looks could kill, I'd be dead cos the leader shot me a look of pure fury. By that time the comprehension of the appeasers role had sunk in to the two other boys and they rounded in on the leader too. I told them that in his eyes they were mear chest pieces in his game and as much as they thought they were in an equal clique they were not. By this time the other kids in the club were starting to relax and joined in. The worm had clearly turned and now the clique were being taunted by those they had intended to taunt. The girl who had warned them of my witchy ways had the last laugh before the left and told them "I did warn you LOL!"
I don't think that there is anything wrong with a group of like minded friends to form a clique as a matter of fact I think it can be healthy and a great support to those involved but when the clique in any way try to single out or make others feel uncomfortable you can guarantee that the clique has split into three roles. The leader the appeasers and the mouth piece, and you'll know the true leader of that clique by the way their image stays clean at all costs. To be a clique they have similar ideas so when one is unwilling to be seen to be holding the same view or ideas of the clique you can be sure that, it was their idea or view first.
I have seen cliques in many different situation, in familys, at work, socially LOL and we have all seen them on social sites but rarely do we recognise the true leader of the dysfunctional types.
That will be the open heart chakra LOL I did well to get this far into a blog without a mention of the chakras but don't be daft its lemon entry that I would end up back at the chakras. The appeasers and mouth piece will have blocked hearts along with an array of other imbalances but the key ingredient for a healthy clique splitting into three dysfuntional parts and becoming very unhealthy will be the leaders open heart chakra and the other two parts just become pawns that they nefariously move and motivate but never openly back them when the brown stuff hits the fan.
The leader of the four boys who bothered us that night at youth club lost his hold on the other three after that and next time I seen them they were more like a healthy clique where they were equal parts of a group again.
None of them were bad boys even the leader had endearing qualities but what was bad was the imbalance that had formed and the knock on effect that had on people outside the clique.
But cliques can at times bring out the worst in people rather than the best.
Today I was reminded of a situation that unfolded one night at youth club. I volunteered once a week along with a friend and her daughter. This particular night the youth leader was not around so my friend and I were left in charge. Everything was running smoothly until a group of four lads walked in. Instantly the atmosphere changed and some of the quieter members physically put their heads down and tried to ignore the taunts and attitude these four guys were showing. My friends reaction to them just fulled the fire and stressed her out, these boys enjoyed stirring things up.
One of the girls stood up to the boys when they homed in on her and pointed at me and told them " You best be careful cos shes a witch and can read you!" I laughed at that description and in an instant the boy I will call the "mouth piece" of the clique squared up to me and challenged me to read him LOL
My friend laughed too cos she knew all to well that Id not shy away from the challenge. She gave me the nod to crack on so I did. I pointed out that in cliques like theirs there were three main character's. The leader, the appeasers and the mouth piece. I explained who did what in the clique and who would always get in trouble and who's nose would always stay clean. All throughout the scene one boy stayed quiet but I had already spotted that he seen himself as the leader. The two appeasers just laughed and egged on the mouth piece, who would be the fall guy every time should their antics get them in trouble. When I pointed out the last bit the mouth piece was struck dumb for a second but you could see the cog's turning, in a short while he turned to the leader with clarity on his face and said " she's right, you never seem to get in any trouble, its always me and sometimes them. LOL If looks could kill, I'd be dead cos the leader shot me a look of pure fury. By that time the comprehension of the appeasers role had sunk in to the two other boys and they rounded in on the leader too. I told them that in his eyes they were mear chest pieces in his game and as much as they thought they were in an equal clique they were not. By this time the other kids in the club were starting to relax and joined in. The worm had clearly turned and now the clique were being taunted by those they had intended to taunt. The girl who had warned them of my witchy ways had the last laugh before the left and told them "I did warn you LOL!"
I don't think that there is anything wrong with a group of like minded friends to form a clique as a matter of fact I think it can be healthy and a great support to those involved but when the clique in any way try to single out or make others feel uncomfortable you can guarantee that the clique has split into three roles. The leader the appeasers and the mouth piece, and you'll know the true leader of that clique by the way their image stays clean at all costs. To be a clique they have similar ideas so when one is unwilling to be seen to be holding the same view or ideas of the clique you can be sure that, it was their idea or view first.
I have seen cliques in many different situation, in familys, at work, socially LOL and we have all seen them on social sites but rarely do we recognise the true leader of the dysfunctional types.
That will be the open heart chakra LOL I did well to get this far into a blog without a mention of the chakras but don't be daft its lemon entry that I would end up back at the chakras. The appeasers and mouth piece will have blocked hearts along with an array of other imbalances but the key ingredient for a healthy clique splitting into three dysfuntional parts and becoming very unhealthy will be the leaders open heart chakra and the other two parts just become pawns that they nefariously move and motivate but never openly back them when the brown stuff hits the fan.
The leader of the four boys who bothered us that night at youth club lost his hold on the other three after that and next time I seen them they were more like a healthy clique where they were equal parts of a group again.
None of them were bad boys even the leader had endearing qualities but what was bad was the imbalance that had formed and the knock on effect that had on people outside the clique.