This is what my dad used to tell me I had for years. On the outside he could see more clearly that I was so busy saving all the other lame ducks that I did not spend much time helping myself. Understanding the chakras now I can see what he was getting at but then I was so sure that dad was a tad insensitive and uncaring. Turns out I was too sensitive and too caring with others to the detriment of me. No matter what the crisis or drama I was willing to drop everything and ride to the rescue of my many lame ducks. Sadly when my own lameness became apparent or I was no longer able to ignore my own problems those lame ducks were not so keen to support me in the way I had supported them. When ever I tried to share my own pain or confusion they would energetically do the "right back to ME now!" and tell me that my problems were nothing, theirs were somehow 10 times worse LOL I can laugh now but back then it hurt and made me feel alone and unimportant.
My home may as well of had a revolving door back then and the phone rang constantly with the latest drama. My Ex husband called me super woman cos no matter how many troubles I was involved with I managed to juggle it all and still be willing to take on more. After years of juggling the inevitable happened and I crashed and burnt big time. Over night I was no longer able to handle my own basic needs never mind the needs of others. My health and mental state took a nose dive. The shocker was the reaction of my collection of lame duck friends when I was no longer able to do and be what they still wanted from me.
Kate became an over protective Rottweiler and answered the phone informing them I was ill, poor mare ended up having to listen to their drama instead and I often heard her giving them advice (Which I knew they'd not take regardless of how good it was) and then they'd ring back later cos they just had to tell me. Kate read me the riot act after one day when I was laid up in bed off my face on pain killers and a lame duck insisted she had to speak to me, she marched up to my room and plonked herself down on the stool and just started to talk, and talk and talk. I could barely speak but she refused to see my state cos she was too caught up in her own. When she finally left, Kate sat down and pointed out the obvious, something had to change. I had no boundaries and it was just as much my fault as it was their that the friendship was so imbalanced, as usual she was right so we hatched a plan LOL.
As soon as I was able to move around again we rearranged outside.
Most came in through the back door which was often open all day. So I bolted the back gate and opened a new gateway at the front of the house so the only access was through that door, then we opted to keep the front door locked and advised people to ring first instead of just dropping in.
LOL I got caller display and got in the habit of checking who was ringing before I decided if I wanted to chat or give it a miss. It was hard just ignoring the knocks and calls to begin with but I knew that I needed to stand my ground and take my life back. Some accepted the new ground rules and some threw their toys out of the pram. In all it took me just over a year to turn things around and have my new boundaries accepted, not just by others but by me too. Old habits are hard to break so I had to change as much as I wanted others to change they way they treated me.
Now for the chakras. The lame duck syndrome has a pattern in the chakras and its a bit confusing because some chakras are open and others are blocked. The pattern is open root, blocked sacral, open solar plexus, blocked heart and blocked throat. As you can see the chakras that are blocked are important ones, the sacral and heart being about our emotions and our own value, and a blocked throat often leads us to say things like "that's fine!" or "I don't mind!" when in truth it isn't and we do. with those blocked and the root and solar plexus open we end up putting our value on what we do rather than who we are and end up answering the distress calls of others while we ignore our own. Over the years I have found a lot of people who choose a career in the caring profession, be it main stream or alternative therapy's end up with the lame duck syndrome chakra pattern, Giving more care and thought to the wounds of others while forgetting to care for their own wounds. Every once in a while when their chakras decide its time for change those chakras swing the opposite way, this is when things get interesting because those who were in the habit of answering the distress calls of others begin to sound just like them LOL they turn into the lame and insist that its others fault for leaning on them so heavily but as their sacral has just swung open they have no intention of accepting the part they themselves have played in their own misery.
I still get calls from the odd lame duck but now I don't just agree with them, I mention the "elephant in the room" so when they tell me about how others treat them I balance it out by pointing out that they have allowed others to treat them that way. When they complain that no matter how hard they try their partner will not change I ask them what real changes they have made.
Lame ducks usually have a blocked root, open sacral, blocked solar plexus and an imbalance in their heart and throat. Its not so black and white as being either opened or blocked in those two chakras as it depends on whats going on in their worlds as to how those two chakras react. Sometimes turning it in on themselves and at others throwing it out on others. A good indication for when you are stuck with a lame duck is their use of the words "yes but" this is them resisting and despite their dislike of their rut they are unwilling to change themselves or the way they see or do things instead putting all their focus on what and where others need to change to make them feel better.
One small but very effective word freed me from many situations, not just the use of it but the willingness to notice how others received that little word and if they were willing to accept that I had just expressed it.
"NO!"
Try it the next time a lame duck calls and the flip side is accept it the next time someone says it to you. Both the giver and the taker are in some way at fault, when we are dealing with someone who believes that the latest drama is life or death we do them no favours by just reacting to their belief. The "we'll see" story springs to mind where the villager's declared situation as good or bad and the old farmer in his wisdom just seen them as situations and knew that no one can fully know whether a situation is wholly good or bad and may just be a mix of both. Perceived bad situations can be a catalyst for good to come about and I have often seen where a good situation turned out to be not so great in the long run.
We do people no favours by just buying into their version of their story and if we truly want to help or be of service all we can do is offer and alternative view and step back and let them decide do they want to stick to their version or see it in a different light and create a different outcome.
My home may as well of had a revolving door back then and the phone rang constantly with the latest drama. My Ex husband called me super woman cos no matter how many troubles I was involved with I managed to juggle it all and still be willing to take on more. After years of juggling the inevitable happened and I crashed and burnt big time. Over night I was no longer able to handle my own basic needs never mind the needs of others. My health and mental state took a nose dive. The shocker was the reaction of my collection of lame duck friends when I was no longer able to do and be what they still wanted from me.
Kate became an over protective Rottweiler and answered the phone informing them I was ill, poor mare ended up having to listen to their drama instead and I often heard her giving them advice (Which I knew they'd not take regardless of how good it was) and then they'd ring back later cos they just had to tell me. Kate read me the riot act after one day when I was laid up in bed off my face on pain killers and a lame duck insisted she had to speak to me, she marched up to my room and plonked herself down on the stool and just started to talk, and talk and talk. I could barely speak but she refused to see my state cos she was too caught up in her own. When she finally left, Kate sat down and pointed out the obvious, something had to change. I had no boundaries and it was just as much my fault as it was their that the friendship was so imbalanced, as usual she was right so we hatched a plan LOL.
As soon as I was able to move around again we rearranged outside.
Most came in through the back door which was often open all day. So I bolted the back gate and opened a new gateway at the front of the house so the only access was through that door, then we opted to keep the front door locked and advised people to ring first instead of just dropping in.
LOL I got caller display and got in the habit of checking who was ringing before I decided if I wanted to chat or give it a miss. It was hard just ignoring the knocks and calls to begin with but I knew that I needed to stand my ground and take my life back. Some accepted the new ground rules and some threw their toys out of the pram. In all it took me just over a year to turn things around and have my new boundaries accepted, not just by others but by me too. Old habits are hard to break so I had to change as much as I wanted others to change they way they treated me.
Now for the chakras. The lame duck syndrome has a pattern in the chakras and its a bit confusing because some chakras are open and others are blocked. The pattern is open root, blocked sacral, open solar plexus, blocked heart and blocked throat. As you can see the chakras that are blocked are important ones, the sacral and heart being about our emotions and our own value, and a blocked throat often leads us to say things like "that's fine!" or "I don't mind!" when in truth it isn't and we do. with those blocked and the root and solar plexus open we end up putting our value on what we do rather than who we are and end up answering the distress calls of others while we ignore our own. Over the years I have found a lot of people who choose a career in the caring profession, be it main stream or alternative therapy's end up with the lame duck syndrome chakra pattern, Giving more care and thought to the wounds of others while forgetting to care for their own wounds. Every once in a while when their chakras decide its time for change those chakras swing the opposite way, this is when things get interesting because those who were in the habit of answering the distress calls of others begin to sound just like them LOL they turn into the lame and insist that its others fault for leaning on them so heavily but as their sacral has just swung open they have no intention of accepting the part they themselves have played in their own misery.
I still get calls from the odd lame duck but now I don't just agree with them, I mention the "elephant in the room" so when they tell me about how others treat them I balance it out by pointing out that they have allowed others to treat them that way. When they complain that no matter how hard they try their partner will not change I ask them what real changes they have made.
Lame ducks usually have a blocked root, open sacral, blocked solar plexus and an imbalance in their heart and throat. Its not so black and white as being either opened or blocked in those two chakras as it depends on whats going on in their worlds as to how those two chakras react. Sometimes turning it in on themselves and at others throwing it out on others. A good indication for when you are stuck with a lame duck is their use of the words "yes but" this is them resisting and despite their dislike of their rut they are unwilling to change themselves or the way they see or do things instead putting all their focus on what and where others need to change to make them feel better.
One small but very effective word freed me from many situations, not just the use of it but the willingness to notice how others received that little word and if they were willing to accept that I had just expressed it.
"NO!"
Try it the next time a lame duck calls and the flip side is accept it the next time someone says it to you. Both the giver and the taker are in some way at fault, when we are dealing with someone who believes that the latest drama is life or death we do them no favours by just reacting to their belief. The "we'll see" story springs to mind where the villager's declared situation as good or bad and the old farmer in his wisdom just seen them as situations and knew that no one can fully know whether a situation is wholly good or bad and may just be a mix of both. Perceived bad situations can be a catalyst for good to come about and I have often seen where a good situation turned out to be not so great in the long run.
We do people no favours by just buying into their version of their story and if we truly want to help or be of service all we can do is offer and alternative view and step back and let them decide do they want to stick to their version or see it in a different light and create a different outcome.